Perspective

When it comes to helping others, ‘do it anyway’

Prior to her receipt of the Ambassadors for Children Peace Award in Indianapolis, Indiana, Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Katherine of Serbia granted an exclusive interview with Kiwanis magazine. The following are excerpts from that interview.

Kiwanis magazine (KM): Tell us a little of your husband’s family history and how it led to your creation of The Foundation for Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Katherine and Lifeline Humanitarian Organization.

Her Royal Highness Crown Princess Katherine of Serbia Crown Princess Katherine’s official biography and information about the Royal Family of Serbia

Princess Katherine (PK): First, let me give you a brief background about my husband’s (Crown Prince Alexander II of Serbia) history. His father, King Peter II of Yugoslavia, lived in exile for many years. He became king at an early age when he was only 11 years old. When he was nearly 18, unfortunately, he was forced to leave with his government, in advance of invading forces. He established the government in exile in London, where his son, my husband, was born. King Peter died at the age of 47, and was buried in Libertyville, Illinois. He is the only known king buried in America. He died of a broken heart. He was born to serve his people, and it broke his heart to be away from them for so many years.

In 1991, my husband decided to travel to Serbia for the first time after his request for the opposition against the regime to unite; to work for democracy for the people. We arrived with our three boys (Prince Peter and fraternal twins Prince Philip and Prince Alexander) who were young. Peter was 11 and the twins were nine years old. We were welcomed by over half a million people, and it was an emotional experience.

We could see straightaway that the country had a lot of needs, and it had a lot of difficulties ahead. Then war broke out, and things became even worse.

That’s when I felt the need to start a foundation. I knew there was a lot more I could do with a foundation that was properly registered. Lifeline Humanitarian Organization is a registered 501 (c) (3) in New York and Illinois. The charity was also registered in the United Kingdom, Greece, and Canada with offices in London, Athens, and Toronto. I founded a registered charity after we came to live in Belgrade in 2001, the Foundation of Crown Princess Katherine. I am the founder and patron of all these registered charities. I worked hard to get things established, and I took many trips to Bosnia bringing supplies—including candle-making machines, because operating rooms did not even have lights.

It was very emotional; people would ask me, “What is this war all about?” Many orphans came out of this war, and many elderly were left on their own. Many families broke up because of this conflict of 10 years.

KM: In 2001, the Ministry of Health appointed you as the coordinator for humanitarian help. With so many needs growing everywhere, how did you assess what you saw and address the needs?

PK: I could see the disaster getting bigger and bigger. It wasn’t just the physical health of people I needed to care for; it was also people’s social welfare. There were 650,000 refugees and thousands of orphans. In a nation with a nearly 40 percent unemployment rate, you simply had to do what you had to do.

And then, other world crises broke out: the horror of 9/ 11, the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, and the tsunamis. Nongovernmental organizations (NGOs) that had been assisting us began to spread their aid further for other countries’ needs. More and more people needed caring for, and I could never do enough.

KM: How did you—and do you continue to—work to help?

PK: We’ve always tried to conquer one problem at a time, one after another. For example, we have the highest infant mortality rate in Europe. During the 10 years of war, women didn’t desire to have babies. Then, when the war was over, mothers were becoming older and the instance of premature babies increased. There were little or no incubators for those babies. We sometimes had three babies sharing an incubator, and decisions had to be made for their survival. We had to face this horrible reality of losing our babies. New mothers would deliver their babies, and then wrap them in a blanket and go for miles and miles from hospital to hospital hoping they could find an incubator.

I thought: “That is not what we should do with God’s creations.” I just couldn’t bear this pain of mothers losing their babies just after being born, and I was determined not to let babies die.

So, we raised over 1 million dollars in Greece by asking our friends to a humanitarian dinner—and buy incubators. We were able to provide incubators for several hospitals and are hoping to find enough for 48 more hospitals.

KM: We understand that children—especially those left abandoned and orphaned by the war—are especially dear to your heart.

PK: Yes, that’s another focus of Lifeline: orphans and abused children.

After the war, many children went to foster families. The families already were suffering, and the children of the foster parents did not always want additional children being added to their family. Due to this difficult situation we worked to train child psychiatrists and established a toll-free line for children for them to call for help. We are also trying to establish safe houses where these children can go.

We have several projects that help orphans to make their life better. During Christmas and Easter, for example, we invite over 1,500 orphans to the palace. We accumulate presents for them all year, and then give them to the children at Christmas and Easter. They often will try to give the present back to me. They think the present is just something to look at—to admire. They don’t realize it’s something they can keep. An orphanage representative told me they have a calendar with windows to open, telling the children how many days until they can come to the palace for Christmas or Easter. They say it is the best thing the children could ever dream of.

It is a constant effort to build bridges of hope to keep people going.

KM: Can you tell us about the little boy and the candy bar?

PK: Telling this always brings out my emotions. I once went to check on the supplies at a program that feeds 700 orphans a day through our Toronto office. A little boy came to me and said, “Come with me to see my room.” So, I went. He lifted his pillow and showed me a candy bar. I asked him if this was the same candy bar I had given him during my last visit, and he said, “Yes, it is, but that was the best day of my life; and so I don’t want to eat it, as it reminds of that day.”

That little boy became for me, in my mind, my motivation. If I can get out of bed and make a difference, I feel so privileged. I feel like the mother of my country. I want to help them all.

This is a country torn by 10 years of war and destroyed by bombing. We are 9 million people. My husband and I—and through Lifeline—are the symbol of hope above religion and politics. We want to be there for all our people.

I was once at a home for elderly people. It was severely over-crowded. It was only meant to house 300, but there were 600 people. I met a woman who was 83 years old, and she told me she had lost 17 members of her family.

“Why should I live—everyone I loved is gone?” she asked. “Why should I live without my loved ones?”

All I can do is try to help people look forward; to give them hope and courage. Sometimes it’s the only thing I can do. I cannot go empty-handed when I know they are desperate for help. I feel so helpless listening to the needs.

KM: So then, how do you keep your perspective focused on hope?

PK: The world is very small and life is very short. We should help each other.

My parents were philanthropists, and they taught me to help others. A mistake we are making today is not to encourage children from a young age to help others.

My foundation has a branch called Children Helping Children. For example, children have birthday parties and donate their presents to Lifeline to give to other children. They hold bazaars to raise money. Even teenagers can help.

When children understand the feeling of sharing and giving, they become humanitarians from a young age. The joy of giving doesn’t compare to anything else, and anyone can give—even a smile or a pat on the back or encouragement. First you learn to give of yourself, and everything grows from there. You share everything you have, because you can’t live without sharing.

KM: It’s clear you want to make a change in the world. If you could have one wish for the world, what would it be?

PK: My wish for the world is that we would grow with more love for one another every day.

There is money for war; but no money for peace. There is strategy for war; but no strategy for peace. We must learn to invest in peace.

KM: What keeps you going—moving forward in your efforts to help so many needs?

PK: I have a motto: Do it anyway. It means that despite obstacles, when you see a need you can help meet, you do whatever it takes to meet it. I feel it’s very important to realize helping is a role everyone can play, because there’s no more we can do alone.

Then, when you really believe in giving, God will help you find a way. You cannot expect anything in return: You already have the blessing of God and the satisfaction that comes from giving.

Let me tell you about little Dejana. She is five years old, and I met her in a hospital this past Christmas Day. She had a heart disease that was eating away her young heart. When I gave her a toy as a present, I was told she only had seven days to play with that toy, and I felt very sad for her. Her mother, who is a doctor, was in the corner of the room crying. I went to her and said, “It’s Christmas Day. God will give little Dejana back to you.”

After I left the hospital, I realized the faith and trust she had put in me. I was no doctor!

I called a doctor I knew from Switzerland, and I begged him, “Please, I need you here.” I found him in Los Angeles on his way back to Geneva, and he was able to find the tissue for the heart in Brussels. He had little Dejana put on an antibiotic to prepare for surgery.

Then I got a call saying little Dejana was dying and would not make it until the day of the surgery. The doctor had planned to come the next day and was in Poland operating at that time; but little Dejana needed the heart operation immediately. She was going to die.

I had the tissues. I had the doctor. I wasn’t willing to wait.

I called the doctor again and told him I needed him today. He said he could come—if only I could find him a plane. So, I called around and found someone with a private plane. He arrived on the same day and operated for four hours, and put Dejana’s new heart in. By 5 a.m., he was on his way back to Poland to finish the children’s surgeries there.

Dejana went home from the hospital, and she is doing well.

You see? Even when there are obstacles, you just have to do it anyway.

KM: What can Kiwanians and Kiwanis clubs do?

PK: The biggest thing Kiwanis can do to help this situation is to please help children help other children. The biggest gift Kiwanis can give is to please teach children to give.

Children are the future, and if we want a world of peace and construction—instead of a world of war and destruction—they have to learn how to help one another.

God gave us two hands: One for us, and one to help others. That’s what life is all about and what makes life worth living.

KM: Is there anything else you’d like to share with Kiwanians?

PK: Yes. My daughter gave me a pillow, and on it, it says: It’s not easy being a princess—even when you live in a palace. I’d like to share this with you, which is my motto:

ANYWAY

People are selfish, difficult, and different;
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will think you are on an ego trip;
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you may make enemies;
Succeed anyway.

The good you do will be minor and soon forgotten;
Do good anyway.

Honesty and fairness make you seem naïve;
Be honest and fair anyway.

What you spend years building will probably be destroyed over night;
Build anyway.

People really need help, but they may not appreciate your help;
Help people anyway.

If you give the best you can, you may get little appreciation;
Give the world the best you can, anyway.