The Kiwanian who changed my life
A letter of recommendation leads to a lifetime of service — and a lifelong friendship.
By Dan L. Connolly, past governor of the Kiwanis California-Nevada-Hawaii District
Nearly 50 years ago, an educator took the time to believe in a student who was trying to determine where he belonged. I was that student — and that educator’s simple act changed the direction of my life.
I first met Robert “Bob” Jolley during the summer of 1976. (He is pictured above with Marcia Jolley during his years of Kiwanis leadership.) Before beginning my freshman year at Andrew P. Hill High School in San Jose, California, U.S. Jolley was the school’s assistant principal of student activities. At the time, I could not have imagined that he would become my mentor, lifelong friend, fellow Kiwanian and ultimately the best man at my wedding.
Looking back, I realize that opportunity began with something very simple: an educator who believed in a student and took the time to write a letter of recommendation.
Starting service
During my years at Andrew Hill High School, I became involved in Key Club, student government, the Superintendent’s Advisory Committee, Civil Air Patrol and numerous student activities. Jolley’s office often felt like a second classroom. Through rallies, assemblies, athletics, leadership conferences, orientation programs and countless other activities, he taught leadership, responsibility, teamwork, service and accountability in ways no textbook could.
In my freshman year, I entered a national competition that recognized young people for leadership, community service, school involvement and character. Assistant Principal Jolley graciously wrote one of my letters of recommendation, and I was selected as a winner of Parade Magazine’s Young ColumbusContest.
As part of the program, I participated in The Iberian Experience, an educational and cultural journey through Spain and Portugal. It was my first trip outside the United States. For a young man from East Side San Jose, it was life-changing. The experience expanded my horizons, introduced me to a larger worldand showed me possibilities I had never imagined.
Keeping a communit
Near the end of my sophomore year, my parents informed me that they would be moving to Sonora, California.
The news was devastating.
My family did not have much money when I was growing up, and we moved frequently. I never stayed anywhere long enough to feel fully connected. But Andrew Hill High School was different. It became the first place where I established roots, built genuine friendships, discovered leadership opportunities and felt part of something bigger than myself.
Jolley understood. Through conversations with my parents, my aunt in San Jose and school district leaders, he helped make it possible for me to remain in San Jose and complete my education at Andrew Hill. I worked, paid rent, lived with family and stayed.
Jolley was not simply helping a student stay at a school. He was helping a young man remain connected to the first community where he truly felt he belonged.
Because I stayed, I continued my involvement in student leadership and eventually had the honor of serving as student body president during my senior year. Equally important, Jolley continued to guide and encourage me — and occasionally remind me that leadership and good judgment are not always the same thing.
Lifelong inspiration
Jolley’s influence didn’t end at graduation. When I later attended the University of Idaho in the U.S., I remained active in Civil Air Patrol and became involved in Circle K International (CKI). I eventually had the privilege of serving as president of the CKI Club at the University of Idaho.
Looking back now, I can see a clear path.
The leadership opportunities Bob encouraged in high school led to Key Club, which was followed by CKI in college. They continued through Civil Air Patrol service and eventually developed into decades of Kiwanis involvement and community leadership. Each experience built upon the previous one.
The common thread was not a particular title or position; the common thread was service.
Jolley taught that leadership was not measured by recognition or office held. Leadership was measured by the willingness to help others, create opportunities and invest in people.
Our relationship continued long after high school. Jolley became a mentor, advisor, friend and fellow Kiwanian — and eventually the best man at my wedding. By the time Jolley stood beside me at my wedding, he had become far more than a mentor. He had become part of my family.
Years later, after his passing, I had the privilege of officiating his celebration of life.
A Kiwanian’s legacy
Jolley’s own commitment to Kiwanis service was extraordinary. He rose through the organization to become a Kiwanis International vice president (1998-99) and touched countless lives through his leadership, mentorship and example.
In many ways, I spent much of my life following the path he helped illuminate.
Recently, I was honored to be selected for induction into the Thomas P. Ryan Hall of Fame of the East Side Union High School District. The recognition caused me to reflect not only on the opportunities I had received, but the people who made those opportunities possible. Foremost among them was Robert Jolley.
The true measure of our lives is not found in titles, awards or accomplishments. It is found in the lives we touch, the communities we serve and the opportunities we create for others.
Educators and mentors often plant seeds whose flowers they may never see. Jolley planted those seeds through encouragement, trust, responsibility, friendship and service. Those seeds grew into a lifetime of leadership, volunteerism, community involvement and a commitment to helping others. From Key Club at Andrew P. Hill High School to Civil Air Patrol to serving as president of the CKI Club at the University of Idaho, and eventually through decades of Kiwanis service, the lessons he taught continued to guide my path.
No matter where life takes us, a part of us remains that young person trying to find a place in the world. I found that place because Robert “Bob” Jolley believed in me. Nearly 50 years later, I remain profoundly grateful.
